Why I’m Not Racing Today

There was a race in Nashville today. Actually I should say there IS a race in Nashville today- it doesn’t actually start for another couple of hrs, but I decided late last night that I’m not going. Usually the times I don’t feel like racing are the times I need it most. It helps me clear my head, refocus on my long-term goals, and feel better overall. This time it’s different.19713_860775994004483_1182053013396796429_n

This time it isn’t a decision based on lack of motivation or just feeling lazy like the others, it’s based on feeling so completely drained and exhausted from the week that if I were to race I would get to the end of it and feel accomplished, but useless for the rest of the weekend. I’m already toeing that line of complete uselessness and pushing myself to the max in a race is all it would take to send me hurtling into a hermit-like existence for several days. All week I worked, went to committee meetings, prepared decorations for a banquet, took care of 2 houses, 8 dogs, and 3 cats, sorted out graduate school finances, ran my normal week errands, and hit my workouts Mon-Thur. I never made it to bed earlier than 10:30 pm and several nights bedtime was midnight. I have pushed myself a little further every day and last night I realized that as much as this race sounds like fun (there’s a Cinco de Mayo party involved of course it would be fun!) the negatives outweigh the good. So I’m taking a break. Not on a grand scale of taking a week off, not even taking the whole weekend off from training, but a break nonetheless.db5a571e65024249835a8c67e3206c6f

Saturday is my Sabbath, always has been and always will be. Racing on Sabbath is a subject I stay in close communion with God over. It is a personal choice with God’s blessing, but that’s its own post for another time. That being said, Sabbath today is a day for me to spend quiet time at home with God letting Him renew me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I love training and I love racing. In order to continue both I have to stay healthy in all aspects of my life. So today I take deep breaths and recenter and I let this race go.

acceptance

Doing Too Much

My mom is pretty awesome. Actually she’s more than pretty awesome, she’s flippin fantastic and could give any superhero a run for their money. Growing up I never really understood all that she did or how incredible it was. Now that I’m old enough to see the big picture I am blown away by her incredible inner strength and resolve to do everything. When I was growing up she worked full time as an RN, raised 4 children almost single-handedly, cooked most nights, kept the house in order, and ran a Sabbath School program every Saturday at church. That was in addition to getting each of the four of us to softball practice, piano lessons, and a myriad of school activities while helping us with homework most nights.

Today she works full-time, is raising my youngest brother, cooks every night, cleans, runs a Sabbath School program every Saturday, runs a Pathfinder program every week, and still manages to make time for gardening and writing and illustrating a book because she loves it! How does she do it? I haven’t figured it out yet. But she has unknowingly set the bar very high for me. I see everything that she accomplishes and I think I can do the same thing. Maybe its because she’s a mom and I’m not yet, I don’t know, but I fall far short of getting everything done that I would like to.

There are always a great multitude of things vying for my attention- my work, class, my animals, organizations I like to volunteer at, reading, working out, obstacle course racing, church, time with friends, etc. The list seems to grow weekly. With so much to do I usually find myself with my hand in everything and my whole heart in very little. There just isn’t enough energy or time for all that I would like to do. Simply put: I try to do too much. I always mean well , but often times more than one activity or project suffers because I can’t focus everything on just it. My time management skills continue to improve, but this generally leads to me simply taking on more responsibilities. Case and point- I agreed to pet sit/house sit for someone for 2 weeks while they are away on vacation, which would be fine except it is 4 dogs and I need to stay over there every night. This means my own 4 dogs don’t get the quality time with mom they are accustomed to in the evenings and there is a lot of necessary, but “dead” driving time between houses.

I am aware that this post may sound like a lot of whining, and some of it is, but most of it is just me taking a step back and realizing that as much as I would like to be sometimes, I am not my mom and I am not superwoman. I have limits and when I reach them (like now) I have to be able to tell people no and take time for me. I need to better prioritize my time and energy. I have learned the hard way now that there is such a thing as too much no matter how great you may think you are at getting stuff done.